I'll take Shot Guns for 200, Alex

While hiking in the woods today, I saw a bear. Not a growly bear or a big bear, but a black baby bear. I was minding my own business, when I looked up, and around a big rock & down the trail comes tumbling Baby Bear. I did what any rational hiker would do... I screamed. More out of surprise than fear. Baby Bear panicked turned and took off back into the rocks. I saw him for less than 5 seconds. It was amazing.

But then I panicked. For all my love of the outdoors, I didn't know what to do. I guess I missed the class on Intro to Outdoor Bear Management 101. All I could think was play dead, but that's when a bear is in sight & won't leave/being aggressive. I didn't want to go forward on the trail (the way back to my car) for fear of meeting Mama Bear. It would do me no good to go back, since back was away from my car, people & safety. I had no map. If I stayed put, I would have gone insane.

I decide to keep going forward. I started talking out loud, tooting my "safety" whistle (yeah with my trusty whistle I am armed against all danger). I figure if any more bears were coming, at least they would hear me. Then I heard the bear in the rocks. I talked to him and told him that he better stay away or he would have to deal with me and my "safety" whistle. Getting more scared, I called (I hate to admit it) 911. (Since I have gotten a cell phone, I have called 911 twice. I have never had to call 911 before I had a cell phone. I am thinking of ditching my cell phone!). I think the lady on the other end must of thought I was nuts. I was telling her my name & location so when someone found my bloody remains they would know who it was. She finally said, "Why don't you call your friends so they will know where you are." Oh, yeah, right. I told her she was a brilliant genius. Thank you 911.

So I called my parents and left a nice panicked message on the answering machine. That made me feel so much better.

After what felt like a long time to me, I finally met 2 other hikers coming towards me. I told them what had happened. When I left them they were debating whether to turn back or keep going. I finally made it back to the parking lot, & I saw another couple & told them of the huge, monstrous bear I encountered in the woods. The girl was setting up her video camera. The guy told her, "I'm not chasing bears with you in the woods."

I broke the first two cardinal rules of hiking: 1) Never hike alone 2) Always tell someone where you are going. And I didn't have a map.

I really hadn't planned on hiking far, I had knitting needles in my backpack for goodness sake. Next time I will use those to knit the bear a sweater as a peace offering when he charges down the hill at me. Or perhaps drive the knitting needles into his belly as he rips my flesh open with his claws. Yes, knitting needles are my new weapon of choice.

Normally, I consider myself a very rational person. I don't exaggerate too much and I don't relish in drama (although one might not be able to tell from this entry). However, it has become evident to me today how hopelessly unreasonable my mind can get in the face of the unknown and my own imagination.

Some people hike and never see a bear in the wild. Now I can say how amazing it was to see a bear so close in the wild. But next time, I prefer to be with a large group of slow people. I don't have to out run the bear, just the penguins. Waddle on, friends.