when the rubber meets the road

My youth pastor used to always ask us, "So what do you do when the rubber meets the road?" How do I react when things do not go my way?

I have recently had a situation that has caused me much anger & pain. Someone hurt me deeply, whether that was his intention or not. My initial reaction has so far been extreme anger, which if you know me, I would not characterize myself as an angry person. But in the last few hours I have been seething. It does not really matter what happened to me; to some it may seem trivial, while others may understand my feelings. Suffice to say, I have wanted to do awful things in retaliation to make this person hurt like I am hurting. To bring him down a notch... or two or three or a hundred and twenty thousand.

In the back of my mind, I know my anger will somehow go away. It is going to take time and a lot of prayer. Deep down, I do not want to hate this person or the accomplice. But in the immediate here & now, part of me says it is my right to get back at this person, to hold a grudge, to be unforgiving. I am entitled to devious plots for sweet revenge.

Or am I?

The Bible says in Galatians 5:19-21, "The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God."

Time out. Paul clearly states that hatred, jealousy, discord, envy and fits of rage are sinful. And all of those are feelings are racing through my veins at this very moment. So what am I supposed to do?!? I feel like Paul when he wrote in Romans chapter 7: I know the good I should do, but I find myself doing evil, even when I know I shouldn't (paraphrase).

Lord Jesus, fill me up with the goodness that only comes from You, because clearly, my own desires will drag me down into Satan's pit. I pray that You will fill me with Your love, joy, kindness, peace, patience, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. I cannot do this on my own, I need Your help. Help me to forgive, just as You have forgiven me!