Wednesday, February 20, 2008

come as you are, as you were, as i want you to be

Today I baby-sat for my friend's daughter. A rambunctious 1 year old, Susie is in to absolutely everything. At one point, I put her in a giant playpen so I could get a moment's rest. I decided against my original plan, which was to tie her up with duct tape.

But Susie would have none of my tricks. She wanted OUT of her cage! So I went over and stood at one end of the playpen. But did the child come running to me so I could set her free? Oh no. She stubbornly went to the other end, and tried to pull herself out. After multiple attempts, she stood in the center and cried. Even with my arms in plain sight, it took her a minute before she came over to me so I could help her out.

I thought to myself, "What a silly little girl! This would have been so much easier if she had just come to me in the first place."

It was at that point that I realized that my behavior towards God can be exactly the same! How much time do I waste because I attempt to do things my way?! How many headaches and heartaches would be minimized, if I would just take myself to the Father the first time, instead of trying to fix things on my own? What a foolish little girl I can be!

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7

Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits- who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion; Psalm 103:3-4

Monday, February 18, 2008

Snow Globe

Tonight giant tufts of snow flurried down from the night sky, illuminated by street lamps, clumping together on my uncovered head. I laughed outloud, and in the interlude between the hospital entrance and my automobile, I was transported back to a time when I lived for a deafeningly white world.

Glimpses of my childhood are all that haunt me now. The creak of my grandmother's staircase. My Little Ponies grazing on the green carpet. My brother's broken tooth. Dandelion wishes blown away in the wind. Those days are long gone, save on rare occassions like tonight, when the world stops for a moment, and I am transported back to a time when I was invincible and carefree.

These days, my world gets shaken up a bit at times. But tonight, for once, I just paused. While the rest of the world scurried through the red-and-green traffic lights, I marveled at how the God of the universe took time to shower me with His love. Kisses telling me I am His.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Breast Cancer Awareness

Dear Ladies~

This is your friendly reminder: Do monthy self-breast exams and report anything unusual or any changes to your doctor. It could save your life.

Stay Pink!

Friday, February 08, 2008

next time I'm going to Panera Bread

Last night I went to a Pampered Chef party in hopes of improving my cooking skills & kitchen expertise. Later that night I burnt a bagel in the toaster. So much for a quick fix. Let me explain how I managed to torch a bagel: the first time I "toasted" it, the bagel was only somewhat warm, not even remotely tan. So I put it in a second time.

That's when the smoke alarms went off.

I kid you not. I have the most sensitve smoke alarms known to man. You know, like some people say they have sensitive teeth or sensitive skin. The installed said above item can pick up the smell of smoke as soon as I look at my oven. My excuse for not cooking is the prep time: turn off the breaker box to the smoke alarms, turn on over head ceiling fans, turn on exhaust fan on stove, move portable fan to kitchen to whisk away anything that might set off my arch nemesis. It's really quite annoying. I'm sure my neighbors loved hearing the high pitched screeching that went off at 11pm last night, all because I wanted a nicely browned bagel.

But it made me think: what if I monitored the junk and sin in my life the way my smoke alarms monitor my cooking escapades? Instead of letting the questionable movies or prideful thoughts or the gossip tidbits collect in my system, what if big flashing lights and loud sirens went off everytime I got remotely close to letting something slip past my 'acceptable' filter? What extreme measures would I take to keep the sin so far away that the alarm doesn't even have a chance at going off? And what is the standard for my 'acceptable' filter anyway? Do I need to update my filter?

Too often I let myself be saturated with the things of this world (Galatians 5:19-21) and my spiritual 'smoke' alarm does not even register!

Although we live in this fallen world, Christ calls us to be set apart from it. Different. Unique. Pure. Untainted. Like Christ. An impossible task to do on my own, but thankfully not impossible for the One who created me. I am convninced that God is faithful (Philippians 1:6), not because of anything I have done, but because of His great love for me. I am glad He accepts me as I am, but that He loves me too much to leave me as I am (2 Corinthians 5:17-21).

Friday, February 01, 2008

do you see what I see?

What would life be like if everything went the way I wanted?

There would be free ice cream stands all over the place... and not just a scoop of the sweet stuff, we're talking Coldstone/Dairy Queen covered-in-a-hundred-of-my-favorite-toppings ice cream.

Every year there would be a reason for me to go out and buy a ridiculously gorgeous dress so I could dress up like a princess and have a cute guy bring me flowers. Because every girl should have a sparkling, swishy dress and all the flowers she wants; cute guy optional.

The art projects I envision would make their way out of my head, through my hands, and into the hearts of my adoring fans.

I would find a way to speak eloquently and fire back with amazing comebacks on the spot, instead of hours later. I would find ways to make people laugh, because laughter is healthy and healing.

I would listen more.

I would like other people more, instead of finding ways to try and change them. I would accept myself for who I am.

The question is not why I am so infrequently the person I wish to be, but rather why do I so infrequently wish to be the person I am. ~Oriah Mountain Dreamer

I want to see myself as God sees me. And I want to love others as He loves them. If I can get that down, then the rest doesn't really matter.

(Although there is definetly a place for gorgeous swishy dresses and fields of flowers).